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"Katie is so nice Len. Why?" I asked hesitantly, not really wanting to pry into any dark family secrets.
"I dont know. really, I dont. Shes normally very quiet and timid."
So Is a Bengal tiger I thought as he proceeded.
"I recall being on the phone. She was in the next room, in the kitchen cooking. that was before the blood curdling screech and the charge."
I listened intently as he told his morbid tale of fly tying and marital woe.
"There was no reason for her to do that" motioning to his bandaged head.
"What did Little Bob want?'' I asked. trying to steer the conversation into less dangerous pools.
"Nothing in particular, but I let him know I got a new vise." He beamed momentarily, then frowned. "Iremember her ears perking up at that, but it didnt matter, I was gonna tell her anyhow, It didnt seem like a big deal."
"Honesty is the best policy," I lied in the most convincing manner.
"Little Bob talked about the skein of Phentex wool that he wanted to aquire from his wife Thelmas knitting basket, so naturally I commented on that."
"what'd you say?"
"I merely mentioned that it sounded real nice, and I wouldnt hesitate to tell Thelma that I'd really like to tear off a piece too."
The thought of good fly tying material seemed to cheer him up..
"me too!" I added. "I saw it. Its phenominal stuff."
"It was at that point I heard the first low growl." He shuddered , remembering where he was.
"Women do that all the time," I assured him, having no qualms about sharing my vast store of marital wit and wisdom. Most times I can't give it away. "its instinctive. Probably even hormonal."
"Anyway little BoB mentioned that we were going to tie some stonefly patterns at the next club meeting. SO I told him I'd love to tie one on. He asked me if I was sure, since, as you know, I am a confirmed dry fly man. But i told him loud and clear that I hadnt made a nymph since before i was married, and I was certain I wouldnt mind making one or two now.. I guess I got a little excited cuz I'm sure she heard me, but still..." He paused, his brow furrowing. "It was then she picked up the frying pan. I didnt pay it no mind. Thought she was going to cook with it. Boy, was I ever wrong."
"who'd have thought differently?" I added softly, as his story slowly fermented in my mind.
He adjusted his bandage and continued unloading. "then Bob starts telling me about a new fishing satchel he's got. He bragged about all the fancy features and how it straps on like a fanny pack. Says I should buy one. But I said I had a great old bag and she serves me just fine."
I acknowledged the old canvas bag he always carried, funtional, yes; pretty,no. "but you know him. he pushed it. Like it was the best thing since tapered leaders." "he's like that," I concurred.
"So I just shut him up I conceded that I'd replace the old bag soon-and with a newer prettier model."
We looked at eachother through a silent pause as the fog suddenly lifted. "you didnt see it coming did you?" I asked. "no sir. She was quicker than a steelheads first good run. I believe shes watched entirely too much Xena." I left for a moment, as he hurried to make a long distance call to his mother in laws distaint lair and after a few minutes, returned with two coffees, he was attempting to smile. "is it all cleared up?" I asked. "yes I beleive it is," he grinned. "Shes going to buy a new frying pan and everything."
 

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Everyone should read this out loud to their spouse. Could save a life one day. :wink:
 
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